I've lost my ability to hold a thought for more than a minute. Hopefully its just temporarily suspended. Because of this, I don't call. I don't write. Sorry. The best I have is a few stray nuggets typed while I try to breathe quietly so a coworker/raptor won't know that I'm in my office/kitchen and try to complain about work/eat me. Please excuse the extended Jurassic Park reference. What I mean to say is, I'm eating lunch in my office and am using my own personal electronic device to type these words, which are totally unrelated to my place of employment.
....When I'm still wearing pajamas and haven't yet put on makeup and tell Craig I'm almost ready he looks at me with a look that belies doubt. I don't get defensive, though, because he obviously just lacks imagination.
...Where is the line between complaining and commiseration? We know an individual that cannot commiserate. If one of us brings up something going on in our life, this person always plays devil's advocate or points out the wrongness of our perspective as if conversations have to have a point/counterpoint format. I don't need my friends to always agree with me, or feel like they can't offer insight, but sometimes a "me too," "that's tough," or "I hear you" can go really far. I have a feeling that said friend thinks they're being helpful, but really, its exhausting. Discussing the difficulties of parenting/work/life in general with friends makes your burden lighter. I'm all for being positive, but knee-jerk positivity isn't a character asset. Its a tic.
...I want to applaud people that look good with bangs. Like, out loud.
...I always play with the idea of trying to write a book. Not publish, just write. The chances that I'll follow through are so very slim that I won't even consider the astronomical odds that it would ever be worthy of publication. I like to read articles on fiction writing and how to get started writing a book. I've read so many that I think I could have a successful career in writing how-tos on the subject. From what I've seen, there are two main pieces of advice floating around. The first is to write what you know. I know a good chunk of the Tennessee Criminal Code. I know and celebrate all of Jay Z and The Shins catalogs. I know how right and just it is to put on pajamas the moment one gets home from work. The other suggestion is to write what you'd like to read. The books I'm currently reading include Fifty Shades Freed, The Upanishads, The Centaur, The Hindu-Yogi Science of Breath, Most Talkative by Andy Cohen, and one about Christian and Sufi mystics. So, I guess that would be a sort of post modern pervy/gossipy text centered on Eastern religion and mysticism. Sounds like a bestseller.
...Can you really say you "don't like the taste of water" and still be considered a human?
...Are they hotdogs or are they legs (http://hot-dog-legs.tumblr.com/)? Thank you, Craig, for sharing this. Also, if you like laughter: http://www.toddlercouncil.org/. Please read the "About" and "Press Release" sections.
