Tuesday, October 26, 2010


Remember when I wrote this?:

Dear Mice,

Our intentions may not have been entirely clear with the blue pellets in the black plastic trays. They were not intended as offertory morsels. It is clear to me now that you enjoy, nay, prefer them as a tasty treat. Evidently, they give you vigor and a sense of purpose. While I envy this new found pep in your teeny step, knock it off.

Again, the plug in with the flashing light was not purchased to guide your way in the dark of night to whatever you are after. It was supposed to emit frequencies to irritate you into moving to greener pastures, or at the least the neighbor’s house. I hear they have a veritable rodent buffet over there.

I will be more direct. Leave us alone you tiny terrorists.

From this point forward, I will view your droppings as open hostility. If you do not comply immediately, I will insist that you pay your share of rent and use the toilet. Additionally, you will be expected to perform adorable tricks for company.

Please be aware that this notice takes effect immediately.

Laura “Mousekilla” Locke

Well, apparently they were summering on the coast because they are back and mocking my efforts again.

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