Say anything..

If for one day I said exactly what I thought---

-- I'd hear someone talking about money, or theirs or their famiy's status and I would call them a classless fool. I would also suggest that they learn something about their audience first, as that is never cute or interesting to me.

-- I would say, stop whistling. No whistling before 9am.

-- I scream for ice cream.

-- If you have to tell me how much you do and/how busy you are I'll question it. Oversell always makes me think the opposite. The more someone has to hear that, the more they notice when it's not the case.

-- Rinse and repeat previous statement.

-- You're welcome (in that childish way when people don't say thank you).

-- Oooh. Shiny.

-- I don't know Ms. Lott, but I'll give her the message.

-- Yes, I'm pregnant. Stop looking at my stomach.

-- Doo do do do do do Do do...(the theme from Doug)

22 Weeks

Today marks the beginning of week 22. So, 18 weeks left. I don't know why no ever tells you that pregnancy is 40 weeks...as in ten months. Maybe the "they" got together and decided that nine sounded more doable and that this little bit of misinformation might be helpful to the continuation of the species. Could be. At this point, it's gravy. I feel fine. I'm not enormous. (I'm a little enormous). I have more energy than I did at the beginning and, I suspect, a whole lot more than I'll have in a month or so.

He's been kicking for a several weeks, but this last week has been his own personal demonstration in the various angles from which the bladder can be kicked. It may not sound like it, but it's actually one of the most charming things anyone's ever done.

As of the last two weeks, my brain has gone into baby mode. I've been excited all along, obviously, but there was a literal switch. It's like this burst of energy that has no where to go yet. The normal, and perhaps helpful, thing to do would be to read some books about labor and such. But, the word cervix makes me squirrelly.

So, I've done the next illogical thing. I've made the baby a playlist. I can't sing, so I thought he might appreciate some music from various artists who can. I would totally post the songs where you could hear them, if that was a real thing. Is that a real thing? Google was no help, so as far as I know, it's science fiction. I mean, this isn't Assange Letters. Only Craig will think that's funny.

Here's my carefully crafted during all hours of the night playlist for the world's kindest, smartest, kickingest baby that ever gestated, orrr, The Baby's Playlist.

1. April Come She Will--Simon and Garfunkel
2. Dearest--Buddy Holly
3. Forever Young--Bob Dylan (the slow one)
4. Hearts and Bones--Paul Simon
5. Sea of Love--Cat Power
6. Angel--Sean Hayes
7. Go Ask an Old Man--Colin Hay
8. You Belong to Me--Carla Bruni
9. Lullabye--Jack Johnson and Matt Costa
10. Rejoicing in the Hands--Devendra Banhart
11. Danny's Song--Nicki Bluhm
12. Heartbeats--Jose Gonzalez
13. Into the Mystic--Van Morrison
14. Falcon Settles Me--Rogue Wave
15. The Sweetest Gift--Sade

Crime Kitty

Some call her Princess Patches, some call her "that cat."  Some even call her Chris, as there is a theory that she is the animal form of a shape shifting local homeless man.  This is, as  yet, unconfirmed.  To me, though, she is and will always be Crime Kitty, Vigilante Fugitive from Justice. 

Crime Kitty first appeared on the scene a few months ago, and by scene, I mean outside the criminal court building.  In the beginning, she was reticent, elusive even, leading one to ask, "Did you just see a cat?"  Sneaky little minx.  Today, though, she can be seen boldly nuzzling the air vents for court employees and handcuffed, escorted defendants alike to admire.  Regally, she'll stand and preen beneath the light pole.  Whimsically, yet with a touch of mystery, she rolls in the grass.

Crime Kitty has truly come into her own.

I've heard recently from a witness at the scene, that two women were seen trying to capture Crime Kitty.  Evidently, they were not aware that she is, in fact, the Vigilante Fugitive from Justice. Duh.  But, they were not ignorant for long.  She evaded their every attempt at capture.  The warrant was issued, but it will never be executed. 

Carry on, you felonious feline. Carry on.