I’ve come to accept
that there are things in life that I’ll never understand, like anything over
eleventh grade math and how salmon know where and when to go upstream to have
their salmon babies and if any salmon ladies are like, “No thanks. I’ll just stay down here and not die.” I can deal with the fact that some of life’s
mysteries will stay that way, but some things must have answers. Like, why do young girls make that face in
pictures? You know what I’m talking
about. That face. The one where
they raise both of their eyebrows and sort of smile like you just snuck up on
them talking to themselves. Sometimes
they don’t even look at the camera. What
is that? It’s probably the surest sign
that I’m rapidly approaching the end of my youth, but I just don’t get it. I never did that. I either smiled or I didn’t. I can only assume it’s the dark side of
having a camera phone and that wonderful teenage combination of self-absorption
and disdain. Even their fresh faces are over it.
Also, the skinny arm lean thing is out of control. Now, every pair of young women in a photo
looks like Chang and Eng. They were connected, ladies, not being
sassy.
This has quickly gone from rambling to incoherent, but here
are a few other things I’d like to address.
There should be such thing as night time daycare. Craig and I worked this out. A bus comes and gets you and your kid. Your baby goes to daycare and has a wonderful
time and maybe a snooze. You leave a substantial down payment. You get taken downtown with a set pick-up
time of, say, eleven. Don’t judge. Eleven
is plenty late for people with babies because babies don’t sleep in. Ever. Also,
someone has got to do something about these baby socks. I know, I know. The debt ceiling and gun control, but
seriously, this is a crisis that must be stopped. Baby garters?
Spandex socks? An end to cold
weather? Here’s a question. It was actually directed at me from Craig, but
I don’t know the answer. Is there a way
that a man with thick, mostly straight hair can have anything longer than a
crew cut? He says to me, he says, Laura, I like the length, but not the
puffiness. Just kidding, he’s doesn't sound like a
bootlegger. I've told him his hair
looks like Liza Minelli’s when it gets too long, but apparently that’s not
helpful or supportive. And lastly, do we
or do we not like Jodi Foster’s speech from the Golden Globes?
Food for thought.
Food for lunch.
I’m out.
This post is lonely, hanging out with all the old posts. It needs some lively new posts to keep it company. You're awesome! Keep writing :)
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