Monday, December 14, 2009

I pulled this from facebook...

These were my impressions about marriage afte six weeks that I wrote in a facebook note.

She says….

"Do you mind if we run into Target real quick?"

She means

I hope you packed a lunch because I intend to pick up/try on/compare and contrast about $1300 dollars worth of merchandise before I buy a pack of gum.

He says

"Hey, let’s pick up the stuff in the living room."

He means

Woman, you are not a geisha. Quit leaving your tiny flip-flops in the door way. Oh yeah, and I’m onto you sliding them under the chair.

She says

"We need to buy more shampoo soon."

She means

I know we have six bottles with a fourth of their contents remaining. I already read the labels a hundred times, though. Plus, my hair still doesn’t look like the ad, so obviously it’s broken. I won’t have broken shampoo.

He says

"We don’t really have anything to fix for dinner."

He means

I’ll be having Mexican food and beer out tonight. You’re welcome to come along.

She says

"What did you do today?"

She means

Tell me everything that happened since you left the house, plus all the related gossip. If it helps, I’ll make a diagram so that we don’t lose track of any talking points.

He says

"What did you do today?"

He means

Just the highlights. Sports Center format, please.

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