....to say neat, in public, with zero irony. Zero.
....to find your way to someone's facebook album who you don't know and keep on looking at strangers.
....to get emotionally invested in the Real Housewives of...everywhere.
....to talk to your dog, and love him, and kiss the top of his teeny head.
....to rehash conversations in your mind and think of all the snappy remarks you should've said.
....to have doubted all those bra color facebook statuses. I bet, red sparkles. You know it was nude cotton.
....to make huge life decisions three minutes before falling asleep and then never think about them again.
....to quit your diet everyday at three o'clock.
....to sing in the car, not like nobody's listening, but like everyone is.
....to have just a touch of hypochondria, or mono, or a heart condition, or an impending aneurism, whatever.
....to feel like a teachers' table dork in new social situations.
....to pick a wedgie if you've got one, the dance is so much worse.
....to talk to yourself for a good bit before you realize it (at least I hope this is ok??)
....to cry when you're mad.
....to change your clothes, you hair, your mind, and your life plan over an hour.
....to change it all back before your husband knows what's hit him.
....to play a little dumb sometimes. I'm looking at you Autozone.
....to blog about your personal thoughts and self-indugences without
P.S. I realize I've been, um, prolific this month in the frequency of my posts. I would fully understand if you'd like to hide me on Facebook so as not to be inundated by my activity. Just don't tell me. What else am I supposed to do, study?